ELLI is HER name

Update for June (:

2011-06-30T01:40:00.000+08:00

June? Let's see..

I was reminded of a guy back during school days which i decided to look him up on facebook, google-d & everywhere. which now, i've already found him & his brother :D

On the 18th of June, It was his birthday. i am literally broke like forever, didn't managed to get a cupcake as promise. it was kinda sad ); And a few days after his birthday, he was warded at TTSH. And it seems to be happening to him every year.

And Maisarah & myself, found out that in a way. we are related as in cousins :p We became extremely close after that. We tend to stay after work, webcam-ing using camerio .

Updates for May (:

2011-05-31T18:46:00.000+08:00

Been awhile since i updated (;

On the 8th May'11 , Dearest gave in to me. We returned to Jurong just so i could celebrate Mothers' day there. And furthermore, i was missing everyone there <3

A few days after Mothers' day, 11th May'11 . Ayah was at A&E, NUH. I swore it hurts alot to talk to him on that day. How disappointed i felt for not able to be there.

Some way along the way, i MIA from CSC ):

And M1, causes problem for their customers and on the 24th may, it was free services for the whole day! (:

Lastly to make the awesome month : 25th May11, We went to flyers and had ice-ball! and old school nasi-lemak.

AllenBryans

2011-04-06T17:42:00.004+08:00

That's me with US$1200++

First week of march , i started working back at my old work place which was allenbryans. The place i've had much fond memories back in 2008 , however it was the same without my lovely kakis : MieraBoncet & DylahSyg. And meanwhile after 6pm , i'll rush to CSC ; my 2nd home to work.

I have to say it's pretty hectic for 2-3weeks. Now i'm pretty much settle in with the busy schedule from AllenBryans , CSC & Even the Course in PPIS (:

I have to say i'm no superwomen cause i've caught the flu bug and the lack of sleep . Omg , i really wish that i could spend more time at home just simply sleeping or even spend time with dearest & Belle.

And lastly, my ayah was warded for the second time in one month. im worried for him and i love him so much. Just recently, i visited him after sometime. He wasn't the man i knew he as ; My boncet ayah have lost so much weight and i can all pray to Allah SWT that he heal in time and may his pain be lessen. AYAH, PLEASE BE STRONG

Happy 32rd Monthsary (:

2011-03-21T00:52:00.001+08:00

It has been 32 Months.

Fair enough, we aren't the best of friends neither am i the best other-half you ever had.

Yet, we stick it thru' and we managed to pull thru' for something we thought won't last.

In sprite of the daily brawls & arguments, Thank You for being there even when you didn't want to. iLoveYou.

-Ps: The recent event that had happened caused much pain & hurt. However, i hope you'll be able to forgive me in time to come ; insya'allah.

Updates of 2011.

2011-03-13T13:46:00.004+08:00

Chapter - Jan 2011

To be honest, the only thing that i remembered in this month was CMS. And we had to make a new year resoultion board which we used recycled materials from my arty-farty stuffs. Unfortunately, our team didn't win ; therefore we were pissed of at the judges for being biased. Lol.

Chapter - Feb 2011

I had a advance Birthday cum V'day treat from dearest at Swensen and on the day of my Birthday which falls on the 3rd day of CNY ; 050211 . My dearest team 5 - stitch, gave me a surprise mini celebrations which was so super sweet of them. i was really blown away & i swore i've never had celebrate my birthday before.
A week later, It was CMS - Theme : CNY with Lion Dance (:

Chapter - Mar 2011

We gave our leader , Hazy ; a super advance birthday party. She was stunned and saying it's not yet her birthday. and furthermore, the planning was super choatic and very last minute of us.
On 7th march , i started working back at Allenbryans as a Office Assist Cum Recep. Ironically, i was having the jitters on whether i'll dress okay and such.

*end with a note ; i'm going to be extra busy these days and also tired );
I'll blog as and when i find time.

First entry of 2011

2011-03-13T12:55:00.003+08:00

Oh dear me. the last entry was in decemeber 2010.

I guess, im pretty much messed-up, Lol. Or maybe im just extremely busy for myself, families & friends.

These days i find myself seeking comfort in almost things i thought i couldn't. Please don't assume otherwise, life now is pretty much adequate. Though there are times that i may not be happy. This is just parts and parcels of life, right?

And i apologizes for not being in here often. Well, on the other hand ; you can always find me on my Tumblr, Twitter & Facebook (:

Strawberry Shortcake Outing

2010-12-11T21:17:00.002+08:00

Today's CMS day , and the theme of the month is Xmas. But sadly, im not attending due to a family outing with dearest saiful and isabelle.

We head over to Northpoint, Yishun, to catch 'Strawberry Shortcake' Show. As that was belle's cartoon character even before she was born. Upon reaching, saiful decided to head over to Levis to get a new pair of black jeans to go along with his latest jacket-to-be.

We were sort of late for the show that we didn't managed to get a front row for belle. Still we sit through the show with belle switching seats on either my shoulders and saiful's shoulders. After the show, we head out to wendy's for lunch. Belle fell alseep halfway and we thought we should catch the show again and make sure this time round, belle got a seat. For myself, i managed to video the whole show that was about 30mins.

Overall experience: Priceless.

Hari Raya Haji

2010-11-17T21:30:00.000+08:00

Well, It's Hari Raya Haji. Therefore i wore my pink baju kurong to work as apart of the celebration that was happening in my head. Upon reaching CSC, i feel so awkward as i was the only one in traditional outfit. But soon, i was relived thanks to Hedayah for she too is in a pink baju kurong. Boy, was i glad! *Aik,Macam dah janji dalam mimpi!*

After Work,dearest saiful decided to catch HP7 as it was just released on the day itself. Soon enough, he came in a cab and we headed over to The Cathay to catch the 11.55PM Show. And i was like,' Oh dear, Paisehnye pakai macam ni turun town! elly, Stop it ehk!'

And Overall the movie was Cool! And that saiful is going to book the book due to anticipation of waiting for the next sequel that will be release next year in July!

Crazy over love songs (;

2010-11-06T01:40:00.002+08:00

- Love Songs or should i say songs these days, lyricist always have a way to somehow hit certain nerves that causes memories flashback.

I'm so sorry but i didn't mean to abandon you, my dear blog .
I've been busy with work and yar, It have been tough lately.

The Celebration (:

2010-10-17T01:06:00.003+08:00

[ That's Belle bashing her piece of cake. and strawberry shortcake is her (: ]

The Party was small and adequate. Dear decided to let her blow her candle off at 0956hours; the time she was born a year ago (: shortly after that we prepared ourselves to get down to the gig - Da'RapShoCase . baby sister met us up here in toa payoh before heading out to raffles place which was at the Arthouse.

The whole gig was Cool & Awee-some to the max! apart from the fact that it was my first-ever Hiphop Gig (: and i was like , " Look , i know that girl from my school" and "hey, i like this song" + " Fatin, cute-cute kan the guys. Lol (: "

And afterwhich we headed out, settle for mac as dinner and went back to Bedok - Baby sister' place. Watched ' My Name Is Khan ' i guess i did cried alittle and personally, i haven't seen a Hindi movie like forever.

Belle's Birthday

2010-09-29T20:05:00.002+08:00

heyhey readers.
Current location : Work - CSC . and yar, so i was bored thus here i am (:
In the next 3weeks time, Belle's official 1year old party and Yung Sz is performing at Da'RapShowCase. Which both falls on the 16th Oct 2010, Saturday and i'm taking off (: I'm so having the time of my life working here but i just need a better paying job hence i have a growing child.
Anyway, i'm so waiting in anticipation for the 3rd Oct 2010, Sunday. Wohoo, can't wait to Camwhore (: Miss my family so much.

Going Gaga for J.Bieber

2010-09-26T03:24:00.002+08:00

First of all , Selamat Hari Raya People (: Understood that is a far beyond due. There ain't much pictures this year. but wait till this 3rd Oct 2010. Jyeah , seriously i can't wait . i miss my dad and i really want meet my crazy looney little baby sister thats staying with her guy.

All of the sudden , i had the urge to listen to Justin Bieber's songs . oh boy, memories that flashes back by - scene by scene . Say that J.B might be corny for a 15year old kid? Still that cute face and the voice.. And how far he have gone in the music industry and how much he sound different now. Thus far, the best songs that i like so much are : -Baby ft Ludacris. - Somebody to love ft Usher. -One Less Lonely.

It's late, i should hit the sack now. sweet dreams (:

Love. oh brother ?!

2010-08-31T01:23:00.003+08:00

[ Sweet kan? (: kak wanie,hope u don't mind ]

Firstly & Seriously, i envy kak Wanie & Hanafi ; the sweetest couples down at CSC.
Just by reading kak wanie's blog and her latest photos of their outing so blew me away. And it reminds me so much of what we were to be back then. I miss those days when we were still courting each other and everything seems so sweet (: Oh well, in every relationship there are their own problems which we won't know about as an outsider.

Tell me, isit possible to regain what was once lost?

Random :(

2010-08-29T20:30:00.003+08:00

It really didn't register in my head how people can change in an instance. There isn't any better way to express my tense-ness now at work & home. Couldn't people just freaking keep their mouths & attitude to themselves? Argh!! What a heartache..
I really don't understand ; what have i ever done to them that im treated as tho' i'm invisible. Please, i've got feelings for christ sake. FUCK IT, if this seem alittle too paranoid.

i love you dad.

2010-08-21T23:32:00.002+08:00

There's this uncle at my workplace that remind me so much of my ayah in his younger days when ayah was much fit and build. Oh how much i'm missing him, he had just undergo a major operation - bypass and now he's so much skinner now and he's having difficulties breathing when he lies

down on the bed at night.

Memories of when ayah was still so muscular and fit, my elder sister and myself will always wants to be around him and lie on his lap. and how he would be able to carry Belle and look after her while we are in jurong for the day. Now carrying lil' Belle will cause him feeling breathless.

Ayah, i shall pray for you. i'll pray that you'll be like how you used to be then. i promise i'll be a good daughter, sister, wife and mother.

Ya allah ya tuhanku. Jauhilah segala penyakit-penyakit dari ayahku. hambamu ni mohon bahawa ayahku sihat seperti dahulu. Amin.

Photoshoot in progress

2010-08-19T20:50:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was the most tiring day of my life ever to be compared to the amount of hours that i work down at CSC. Oh my~ , i sorta took a off. yes i was not well and we took advantage of the rest day to have The Photoshoot that was to happen weeks back.

Here how it went:-
from 0700hours till 2300hrs. close to 18hours i guess, i was awake and my body was weak like nobody's business. before heading off to marina barrage which the pictures has to have abit of sunset lighting, there were so many things needed to be prepared. and im telling you its to the smallest detail!

We brought the SHOES, 4cans of red bulls, 1litre worth of mineral water and 2snacks. after the whole photoshoot, we headed off to maleek's nigga house to have some pizzas (: And heading home sweet home, got some paddlepop rainbow and lastly we slept like a baby throughout.

i really need a wish right now.

2010-08-17T00:31:00.003+08:00

"Can we pretend that goldfish in glass bowl
are fairy godparents.
I could really use a wish right now. "

Okay, its about time for a new update entry but it wont be a long though. i dont want to crack my head for nothing. Oh my ~ have been so long. The YOG have already started. and Singapore just got their 1st medal which is a bronze medal.

Today i cooked for break fast and it was daging masak kicap. but the worse thing is that no one in the house was fasting. and i've been working around the clock to earn enough for hari raya baju which is for us - three (:

I dont know why but seeing dear composing songs is so making me want to do the same thing too. i dont want it to be seem that im trying hard to be someone like you. i just feel so hype seeing you in such a condition. and i really love you.

Work ):

2010-08-06T09:48:00.002+08:00

Okay , here's another quick update..
im heading off to work in maybe 15mins. National day is around the corner and im like working on that day itself. Yayness, double pay - even single minutes means alot as hari raya along the way and we kinda need more money in order not to over-spend and also keep in mind of belle's milk.
Talking about National day, i remembered how it was celebrated like when i was in primary - all thanks to a bunch of kindergardens kiddos singging their heads off at the void deck. haha (;
So what colour shall it be this year with my adorable lil' belle - first debut ??

Happy 2nd anniversary

2010-07-21T21:31:00.002+08:00

Okay, a very quick post - 10minutes break (:
its our 2nd year being together, nothing much to celebrate. well, i spend my day at work ; full shift and dear spend his days asleep.
My 2nd sister posted this so i edited it ;
A women was made from a man's rib , not his feet to be walked on, nor his head to be superior over; thus she came from his side to be his companion, under his arm to be protected, and next to his heart to be loved ♥

World Cup Craze , Twilight Fever

2010-07-16T00:09:00.002+08:00

This is a very late entry.
I've been working non-stop till 2am in the morning for the world cups nights. and i don't know if i should glad that its over or sad that there won't be any extra income. Gosh all those lack of sleep i suffered.
These past few days i've been so using the camera. missing my creative side i suppose and boy am i loving my lastest DP in facebook. Lovebug is somewhat hiring me to be his rusty photographer for some kinda album.
well, thats it for now. nights people.

Twilight Fever ;)

2010-07-08T13:08:00.003+08:00

Good Afternoon :)
Guess what, i just woke up - i know very ironic for a mother of a little 8months old. haha. i've been working for the World Cups nights - Sumpah i'm freaking tired and body's aching like nobody's business. Guess for my family's sake, i just gotta earn alil' more. Every single of day working down at CSC is like a count down to my resignation date which is still uncertain though. And only on last tuesday, did i realize that Ramadan is on this coming 11 august 2010 and thats like next month! And im like going to be fast, hoping will be able to for the whole month because unlike last year, i didnt fast not even a day.
On monday, we went to catch Twilight Saga : Esclipe at The Cathay. i was like Oh My. Jacob is so so hot and Edward's like so cool! Haha. Overall for the movie is super great and seriously worth the tickets. These days, alot of cool movie are out and about. And im always like -"bby, i nak gi tengok boleh tak?" plus i'll never bring Belle to any movie now at her current age. Because she's like so "tak boleh diam" and it seriously make me lose my concentration watching the Karate Kid.

2010-06-26T19:16:00.002+08:00

Good Evening. just a short update for now (:
Im here at work again but its only for 30mintues. and today , working like hell ; 12pm till 2am. my elder sister recommend me to be her replacement when she goes for maternity leave. OMG, im like so hyped-up about it but at the same time im sadden that im have to leave CSC - the Coolest & Coldest place ever! Im so going to miss the people here.

randomness`

2010-06-20T12:51:00.001+08:00

Good Afternoon, i suppose. its have been quite sometime since i updated. the blog have been collecting dusts. So much has happened within these past few weeks.
I've been staying at jurong, my sister house to assist in caring for my dad who just went for a mayor bypass operation. which my daughter is staying with her father down at toa payoh and my work is at toa payoh too. therefore, i can say im not a superwomen because my body is aching really bad. currently im at work, having 1hour break ; not eating as pay not in yet. Working at CSC have been a blast. Only that the pay is not enough for me and my little family, therefore finding a full time/permanent job is really tough! hopefully (:Lovebug comes round to send whatever that's cooking over at his place.
It was his birthday was on the 18th of june. sadly i was working full shift. but the best thing was that i brought him a little chocolate cupcake to celebrate when the clock strike 12midnight. afterwhich we were to mustafa for a north indian cuisine.
come to think of it, our relationship is coming to 2years already and my daughter is coming 1years old. so much have happened and there are so much more to come. im not going to fill myself with doubts and stress now.

confused & exhausted

2010-05-25T17:19:00.002+08:00

Okay. i just came back from jurong. and its like 5.25pm , works starts at 6pm and im like WTF. having the a tummyache and the family which is saiful & co are missing in action. gotta rush to CSC soon. i so hate things been in such a mess.
dad's having an operation this coming monday. shit, i haven't been praying too. i really need some kick in the butt.
if only i know who to express this feelings in me. i wont be filled with all the doubts in the world.

Stress.

2010-05-19T20:49:00.002+08:00

Like the above mention title - im stress to the core!
Dad's in the hospital and is going to have a major operation end of this week or next week. and saiful is in the hospital , due to the pressure on his childhood operation scar. Gosh, i can't at two place at one time. i have to be at jurong but at the same time, i gotta be by saiful's side. OMG!
Work is okay, still looking for better paying jobs out there. The Bloody 'RP on Scotts ' didn't got back . so most probably i didn't get the job , nevermind la.
The Courses that i went to the other day was so great. met so many great people who im so in contact with especially mr andy , a great friend .

super tired and stress. don't know what to do, feeling so lost.

OMG.

2010-05-06T22:59:00.002+08:00

This one whole week has been very tiring . Because i got courses to attend down at jurong - infomatics and i had to work later in the night . and thank god that , monday and thursday off . otherwise , i'll turn to a zombie . whatever that i've learnt in the courses are so Wow ! i like the instructor , he teaches all the nessesary stuffs that i as a new comer in the working indrusty should know of .
im so happy that i got a reply from a hotel that i sent my resume to . Wohoo ! i gotta pray hard to get the job . who don't want wok in Royal Plaza on Scotts ! now i got to sleep if possible , i gotta leave house at 7.45am and course will end at 6pm . after which i have to reach work place by 7pm .

*i've drank almost 6cans of redbull within 1week . wicky or what (: *

2010-04-26T12:22:00.003+08:00

Hello. Okay , It has been almost 2weeks since i've updated .
so this is going to be a long one (:

I'm pissed with CSC ! the place is alright , the people are cool & the effing Management sucks to the core ! Today's my off-day and ' wha'tha fuck ' Tomorrow i got baby appointment and i don't want work and the effing manager said , " im a mother too - appointments are in the morning. " the management can go fuck , im still ain't coming to work . and good luck on the 1st week of may , for im not free .
Im doing my random job search, this place can't make it . i'll leave soon but for the time being , im stuck down with the management. Argh! Praying that i'll find a admin , receptionist or maybe a front-desk ( hotel-line) job soon.
I want to learn how to make-up! but where to take up course ? and i want to lose some pounds ): sadly i have a big tummy which is super ugly with the marks from pregnancy .
Missing my cousins so much ( Tam , Nadd , iira & lil' sister , Lysa ) want to have a get-together like the old days when we were soo much younger.

2010-04-15T09:57:00.003+08:00

Adorable right? haha (: plus she looks like a baby boy here .

Okay , its way too early to blog . anyway there's nothing to update as well ; Just wanted to have a change of songs . Check my FB ; Cafeworld , Happy Aquarium & Hotel City . Added some people down at CSC . Isabelle & Saiful are still fast asleep (ILYSM)
Missing People in life ; cussins , girlfriends , schoolmates .
Work is okay , wish could work even longer hours but sadly my team leader is a part-timer and he's schooling as well .

till then, bye

2010-04-09T15:36:00.002+08:00

Updating just abit today.
Its going to rain while im getting ready for work! Urghh, hate it this way ):
Thank you all for voting for isabelle at the BabyChic Contest , tho' she might not win. will submit her photos again if possible (: and will upload her latest pictures at FB and here soon (:

Bye, till then.

2010-04-03T17:14:00.003+08:00

Currently at home , so freaking confused on what time should i be back at CSC.

Jesus Christ. having a bad tummyache.

Learning Shakespeare . In a way only i can understand what i write.

2010-03-31T12:56:00.003+08:00

Mood: Effing Bored ):
Time: 1258hours

It's already the last day of march. i find myself reminiscing our past memories how it first started out. Those days, i bet he remembers it too. ONEyear.eightMONTHS.ONEweek&threeDAYS - dated 21th July 2008 .
yesterday, i was actually some-what composing my first verse which ironically is rapping (: Tho' then in our early stage of our relationship , a verse was composed some-what a song . which was never complete.

2010-03-26T12:50:00.003+08:00

Mood of the day : Confused

Time: 1254hours

On a lunch break for 2hours which to be back by 1400hours. No idea of what-so-ever to eat , should i go off without eating? For every moment left , please make it a happy one?

Feeling so lost , oh Star please guide me out of this dark night. what should i do? Wait till sunrise which i'm not sure of.

*should i dwell on it or feel bliss*

2010-03-25T19:17:00.002+08:00

Changed my skin for the last time , if god's willing. No more bright colours for me now. i wanna endure and never give up but i got to be strong first. Please rely on me ): Sadly, it will never happen . The two songs best symbolise my feelings at this current state of self.

* who's gonna be there now? who will listen ? *

2010-03-23T12:57:00.002+08:00

I want this pair of Nike Skinny Dunk ): too bad that my birthday have pass or else i could wish for it .

Down at work , they are so fixing the agents to a team leader which like so " whata'fuck ". The management real suck big time! come on , im like working on 6hours or less at work with the pay at $4 per hour? im like having a little girl at home who's milk powder is like almost $60 plus and it could last her only 2 weeks? Bloody Mary!

Stress to the max , been getting quite a few counselling letters from work too. careless mistakes and didn't listen proper to the address being said by customers. Dear is so going NS this coming June and im like so have to find a stable full-time. Being 19 and a mother too , tiring & hard. Just wanna break down and cry but for Isabelle's sake , i shouldn't ):

2010-03-13T12:49:00.002+08:00

"The minute i heard my first love song

i started looking for you not knowing

how blind that was

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere

they're in each other all along "

before the blog more rusty and dusty,

i've started working at CSC for KFC (: it's great fun working there.

the people are friendly eventhough some maybe are alittle weird.

made new friends and the poem above was from a book , a friend borrowed.

But what freaks me out is that there have been nights when dear said i was taking orders in my sleep and yes, i admit that i do dream of it too. guess im too engrossed in the job (: lol.

2010-02-23T15:05:00.002+08:00

GOODBYE dearest blog.

wont be back, period ):

** whatever will be, will be

The good, the bad

Just Breathe

- Vanessa Hudgens **

2010-02-20T23:13:00.003+08:00

Life can never be peaceful , for crap and shit happen . It's up to an individual if they can tolerate such events . Whether they have the courage to face reality or run till they fall and continue running .

Love is a Strength that one hold , it may slip yet it's still in your will to let it surface again . One can hate , dislike but they can never not love another . It comes in all sort of form and in different kind of stages known as Puppy Love , First Love , True Love etc .

In Life , you will need Time to start your run and in that run , you will find Love and Hate . The rest is up to you . To choose and to lead your run .

2010-02-06T00:46:00.002+08:00

This adorable little angel is finally "Botak" xD Now she looks more like a Solider in Pink.

Belle have learn so much and her voice is so massive. She's one loudspeaker.

Thanks to all dear friends for the birthday wishes (: it made my day so much brighter. Yesterday at about this timing , i had a Pizza for a birthday cake and later in the evening , i got a LightCheese Cake from His mother. awww..

Well , Good Night and adieus .

2010-02-05T01:12:00.003+08:00

It's 1.13am And jyeah~

I'm officially 9teen as of now .

Happy Birthday to Me and My youngest brother , Aminor Daniel 12 :p

i got Pizza as a Birthday Cake , Thank You dear (:

And some chocolates to fatter me more . Lol .

I'm alil' upset that im not able to be back at home to celebrate with the little "Toyol"

Well , i Love you people back in Jurong ((:

2010-01-26T02:32:00.002+08:00

Life is so filled with endless doubts, gossips etc.

and it's one fact that every human of every race have to go through.

Im freaking BORED. and nothing to talk about.

jyeah XD

2009-12-30T11:53:00.002+08:00

In a sane state of mind , one can read another's mind & emotions . When things comes to such a situation , it's all up to oneself to thinking wisely and make the right decisions . It takes two to clap and so does in a relationship .
After doing what i've done in the recent months , it will take another few months to atone to . Saying that im sorry and i won't do it again simply doesn't work anymore for i tend to repeat my mistakes time and over again making everyone around me feel frustrated and annoyed . Never would i imagined that matter would arising to such a circumstances but it's far to late to say sorry but only to make up to it by being reasonable or being a better person .
As day passes by , no one can tell what will happen tomorrow and one should never look back at the past in wanting back all that one had then .
I'll leave the best in God's hand may HE piece back everyone life back together.

2009-12-30T01:42:00.002+08:00

Reminisce on what had happened to me - be it the good , bad or even the worse . Sadly , i've lost myself to what it may have seem to be : LOVE . Im sorry to those whom was hurt along the way ; be it accidentally or intentionally .
For the new year ahead of us , let bygones be bygones . I'll close this chapter and i'll work for a better storyline that i can be proud of . But what lies ahead , can never be told ; for that i'll leave it in God's hands .
I've acquired that if we hold on to the kite too loosely , it might just slip out of our hands and if we hold on to the kite too tightly , the thread would break . Now its just a win-win situation whereby im just gonna watch from the sidelines and only step in - as and when help is needed.

2009-12-23T00:54:00.002+08:00

Time:12.57am
Mood: Devastated

Life don't always goes the way one wants , does it ? Is it not possible for gossip-mongers to mind their own business ? Yes , my life is a wreck - a mother at 18 but that doesn't always mean that it's over for me . I can still archive all my dreams and goals even though my responsibility is much heavier to those of my age . And boy , it's going to be pretty tough - raising a child and working plus upgrading myself .
Even if my heart broke or i'll fall sick - im gonna prove myself to everyone that "No one human is perfect and that mistakes are always made" Im gonna stand tall on my decisions and choices - Now it's time for my say and listen hard . Im tired of being push around and pleasing everyone else beside myself .

2009-12-20T14:52:00.000+08:00

Im nursing a sick Nur Aaliyah Isabelle.
Get well soon dear (:

2009-12-11T18:57:00.002+08:00

Here are the latest pictures of my dearest , Nur Aaliyah Isabelle . *Gorgeous , right ?*
She's my miracle and my love (:

2009-12-09T03:24:00.003+08:00

After only 1month 2weeks, i concede the fact that it's tough being a mother even with the extra helping hands - whom i thanked for being there guiding me. All those sleepless nights attending to lil' isabelle have left me dark circles under my eyes. But regardless of any events that's to occur, i'll persevere and stay firm.

lil' Isabelle have grown so much as the saying goes : babies grows like the snake changes skin. Im happy and proud to have her and at the same time, to have my beloved family + Him. In the first few weeks having her around, i kept questioning myself - " did i really gave birth to this lil' girl? " Now, im really sure that this is not a dream or a nightmare.

New year is on it way. So much have happened - the good , the bad , the worse and of course , the miracle. The resolutions has already been made all due to the arrival of Nur Aaliyah Isabelle.

As the saying goes : "Yestarday is a history , Tomorrow is a mystery, Today is the Gift - that's why it is called The Present " - Kungfu Panda

2009-11-23T18:35:00.002+08:00

So many things has happened in the past few weeks . i don't know where to start .
im back in Jurong West (: just not at my house but my sister's . As for today till the 30 Nov , i'll be in Toa Payoh . [ NOTE to all girlfriends : Pls come over to my sister's house if you want to meet me and my daughter ]
my sister's house happened to be just next to Jurong West Sec Sch - mine pathetic school . block 658C , just msg my guy's hp .

its has been 1mth 1wk and im still GOOD - just alil' tired bcoz havent had enough sleep due to feeding my lil' girl during wee hours (:

2009-11-07T13:51:00.005+08:00

Here's my daughter and "Him" ((:

Nur Aaliyah Isabelle and Saiful Bahri .

beside the above mentioned people , im also madly in love with my family down at jurong . lOl . So far it has been more than a week after my lil' girl returned from KKH , i have to say its kinda hard looking after newborn . lOl . But im coping with it tho' plus i have to take it one step at a time , right ?

i will be coming down to jurong to visit my family with both the above-mentioned (:

2009-11-01T01:05:00.002+08:00

Ya Allah SWT , please give me the strength to move forward in life .

Please guide me for im caught in between families .

I only seek for the best of both world - nothing else matters anymore .

Ya Allah SWT , i beg you for you are great .

2009-10-30T12:33:00.002+08:00

She's finally back , at long last ! but it has been 3 days la . im still getting used to her milk time but i can say that " thanks to all the training i had back at home (: lOl "

Having a baby is really hard but im not complaining for i love my lil' girl (: well who wouldn't love her ? she's adorable kan ? lOl.

Finally i've gain contact with Lina - really miss her . been so long since i last heard from her , left her a message in friendster and BAM ! she reply. lOl.

2009-10-25T20:23:00.007+08:00

Well these are afew more pictures of us (: My lil'girl is all good and still in the hospital. The doctors would review her condition this monday [ tomorrow ] on whether she's fit enough to come home with us. Its been 10days since i've gave birth yet the house is empty without the cries of lil' baby.

Everyday i would travel down to KKH , just to be with my lil' girl even if it was to be only for 30mins - 1hr 30mins . And before i leave home, i'll express my breast milk so that my lil'girl gets the important Vits etc .

I hope she would be back by this coming week . Its has been very tiring but what can i do?

2009-10-23T21:40:00.003+08:00

thats my lil'girl and my dearest + your truly ((:

A short entry for the day to please those eager readers out there !

For now this would be the only pic of my lil'girl . Her name is yet to be decided but she is to be known as Isabelle . Im still awaiting for her discharge .

2009-10-20T15:49:00.004+08:00

im really bored. can't think of anything to do - no one's online at this point of time [ when everyone's back at school ]
there's nothing good on TV. and im staying home for the day , not visiting my lil' girl back at the hospital..

To explain the chaotic-ness of my delivery which i could still remember :
the pain started at 3am in the morning [ how stupid i was only to realised that i was mistaken 6hours 56minutes later ]
which i was stupid enough to stay at home only when the pain got too unbearable , i rang both my elder sisters since they know a thing or two which was already 7.30am .
I woke my dearest up - telling him i can't bear the pain , i want go to the hospital now! It took him and his family one-half hours to get ready.
We left his house at 9am which by then my water broke - we got a cab only 30minutes later with the help of a chinese couple.
Upon reaching KKH - i 'ordered' the nurse that im about to give birth and that i was already bleeding. she hurried me over to the delivery suite - i got undress and lay on the bed. In less than 5mins , my lil' girl was out with the help of a senior midwife a.k.a Nurse.

Hmm.. Choatic (:

2009-10-19T01:18:00.003+08:00

Today's entry maybe a shocked to some out there -

who haven't had any clue or what-so-ever!

I just gave birth to a beautiful lil' girl on 16.10.2009 at 0956hours. Im here at home and she's stuck back in the hospital. And im missing her so much! Will upload my lil' girl picture - the moment she's out ((:

2009-09-27T22:30:00.003+08:00

Its 27 Sep' 2009 - the end of SG's F1 nightrace.

Today's mark the 8th day of raya.
Selamat Hari Raya (:

The 1st day was filled with tears and heart-felt apologies. Tho' didn't manage to celebrate with beloved family - everything went prefectly fine (:
2nd day was different - finally met everyone of dearest family.
then during the week ,
went to my aunty place at Taman Jurong to visit them and my niece + nephew (: went to dearest god-sis place at Woodlands . Lastly to his nigga friend, maleek's place at Bukit Panjang. lOl.

Collection this year is pretty bad. Old already right? haix, so not helping. lOl.
Toodles, everyone is missed.

2009-09-18T13:27:00.002+08:00

im tired of faking it. im tired of crying.

this wasn't the life i dreamt of - but im still gonna live it and hopefully i'll never say "DIE"

for what holds in the future , with the help of Allah SWT -

im confident that i'll pulled through no matter what.

2009-09-16T19:36:00.003+08:00

♥Does miracle still happen these days?

Isit possible to get the best of both worlds?

Im caught in between and it seems so close yet so far~

This raya would be the first for me.

&& im sure to cry when the "Takbir" is sound.

2009-09-11T14:04:00.000+08:00

hello (:

yet another bored day as always. Ther's nothing great on the TV and the net. Raya is just days away, wonder how will it be this year? But one thing is for sure , Pink is the colour of the year. Lol~

Just recently on 090909 , Wednesday - Dearest went for the Day Surgery at SGH. Im glad its over now (: At about 2pm , the nurse allowed us to come in to see him. Dearest was so pale and his hands were cold. i've never had anyone in my family who went into surgery before ; which it pains me seeing him so fragile and weak.

Now, he's up and about. Just can't laugh and walk too much. And i pretty much have to be his "nurse" for a week or so - making him eat his medicine on time etc. Oh the Suffering~ Lol (: He would be able to open the pact by this saturday or sunday.

Toodles. Everyone is missed.

2009-09-01T21:20:00.000+08:00

Its Tuesday (:
19 more days till Hari Raya Adilfitri.
*isk~ puasa belum habis, dah fikir pasal Raya*

its has been days since i last updated (:
my guy's lil brother had an accident in school - fractured his right wrist. well he's in Spore Sport School(Soccer) - injuries are bound to happen, right?
My dearest has to go for an operation this coming 9th Sept'09 - NS medical. and he has to do the blood test thingy tomorrow.

im currently to a friend singing at youtube. Oh gosh~ she's good (: didn't realise it back during secondary days. well - i,myself missed singing alot but thats all in the past. i haven't been practising or anything like that so i've gone bad - really bad (: LOL.

toodles. Everyone is missed (:

2009-08-25T20:24:00.000+08:00

hello (:

Its another bored day. i borrowed four books from the library to entertain me - hopefully for quite some time. Started on a book - little earthquakes and im half-way till the end of the story. Lol.

again - IM BORED! no one is online at this point of time. AARRGH!
Selamat berpuasa umat islam (:

Toodles. everyone is missed.

2009-08-24T06:19:00.000+08:00

its the third day of the fasting month. and ironically i've haven't been fasting due to some chronic reasons, Lol . Nah , just some pathetic reason set for me. well, its such a pity that i wouldn't get the urge to break fast with the family.

i would like to know some tips on writing/composing a song - it doesn't necessary be a rap though. just a way of letting a person know what's going through my head - since the person only understand songs/raps better than words that comes from my mouth.

days has been pretty much a pain in the ass - am suffering so much heart-wrecking moments in just a day. wow ~ what a life to talk about! if only i could have something that will change my life forever - this won't be something in my list that i'll think about. tell me who would, right?

toodles for now (: everyone is missed

2009-08-18T21:00:00.000+08:00

Helloo.

Today's tuesday and it's pretty bored as per normal . i was on youtube when i stumbled upon this video. Check it out (:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouxq3DVaWnw

To my surprise , this guy here is a Singaporean whom at first i thought would be an American . i didn't expect to come upon such a talent or shall i say 'Rapper' like him plus i love his swagger (:
Enjoy.

Toodles! Everyone is missed.

2009-08-17T06:24:00.000+08:00

Rise and Shine (:

Just did my prayers . Am not able to fall asleep so i thought of my dead blog. LOL.
Chat with my best friends yestarday evening (: it was fun to finally catch up with some of them since i've been missing in action . Flashback of days in secondary school was just on replay through out espescially days in Drama Inc. with MONA && AISHA since they were the only two online . LOL

Nothing much today i suppose . But there is something i've been wanting to do - send my guy's song to that syerzan which i couldn't get hold off . what a turn-off , im wondering what are the comments that syerzan will say . LOL (:

Toodles. everyone is missed.

2009-08-16T08:32:00.002+08:00

Rise and Shine (:
its 8.37am in the morning .
i've been awake for about 2hours or so . Currently situation - im DEAD bored . Just change my blogskin - added some new stuffs .

Life has never been harder. im still adapting to the whole status of been *sshh.. secret* lol~ Prayers do help calm oneself - how could i not think about it then . I haven't been catching up with my dear friends - wonder how they're doing in life . One more thing , i feel that i've lost some weight but at the same time i feel fat - why is it so ? lol .

nothing much to say. everyone is missed .

2009-07-02T21:41:00.005+08:00

I found this hilarious joke in the readers' digest. and i thought - "why not share it with whomever that will my blog"
Here's the joke - Enjoy (:

"A hamburger and fries," a man orders.
"Me too," says the ostrich sitting beside him.
"That'll be $9.40," the waitress says. The man reaches into his shirt pocket and hands her the exact change.
They return the next day. Both order a steak and again the man pays with exact change.
"How do you do that?" the waitress asks.
"A genie granted me two wishes," explains the man. "My first was that i'd always have the right amount of money to pay for anything."
"Brilliant! But what's with the ostrich?"
"My second wish was for an exotic chick with long legs who agrees with everything i say."

Share it with your loved ones , if it made you smile or giggle to yourself (:

2009-06-30T00:56:00.003+08:00

to: a special someone - so close yet so far

Just like you - i need my own stuffs to release stress etc . I swear i didn't realise how much i've forgotten about us , about you - only after checking things out at friendster , blog etc . Oh gosh~ all those memories and promises . Im sorry for being such a burden - im not helping in the slightest way possible to ease your stress instead i add on to your stress with my compliants and nags .

Im just too caught up with myself . I guess too much of each other really isn't good for neither of us . What really happen to us or should i say - ME ? It's coming close to a year now since the day we first kissed and got together . As much as you miss the old days , i do too wish for it every other day .

remember this ? -
** P.S. : REMEMBER Bby, We're SINGLEbutUNAVAILABLEtau.
el.AMORis.thisYUNG'N's:Bby Ger:
Please Stay Clear. Mine & Only. **

I love you muchies and im really sorry . im sure you still do - just not as much.

2009-06-29T19:44:00.004+08:00

Today's the second last day of June.
The school term has just began - for those in Primary and Secondary. While those in ITE are still able to enjoy for another week or so.

On the 25th June, Gone was the King Of Pop - Micheal Jackson. May you Rest in Peace.
What i'll remember of him - i would say his dance moves and some of his songs (:
There were rumors saying that he's a muslim - well that im not sure.

We went to catch 'Transformers 2 : Revenge of the Fallen' on Saturday , 27th June.
There were so much to digest - from the 'robots' to action pack. Gosh ~ i was glued to my seat even after the movie. Feel like watching the movie again - just for the thrill , action and laughter (:

Assalamuailaikum.

2009-05-23T04:17:00.002+08:00

[ Cute right (; if only i could smile that way ]

Another short entry for the day. im down with the Flu , Sore Throat but im pretty much okay la (:
things looks like it might get better but i cant tell, right? Listening to songs thats like 1-2years old [ it can't be right by 2play ft. raghav and much more ] i am so needing to buy myself a gadget that can satisfied my music needs. An Ipod shuffle or maybe the latest sony erisson phone , W705 [ wants only the expensive ones, lol (; ]
Really need to get out and meet my fellow sweethearts, can't stay been in this positions. Miss you chichas (;

2009-05-13T01:32:00.003+08:00

Life has been a B*tch.
As an eighteen years old , things are on the wrong side of life. Contacts of fellow sweethearts ( mia chicas ) are gone with the wind - too much of changing numbers. Clumsy lil' elly has always been up to the unknown. Reminiscing the time spent with fellow sweethearts back during secondary days could easily bring tears to my eyes.
Raking the past doesn't solve anything instead add-on to the heartache. Time to let go of the past - can't continue wishing i was still that same innocent lil' girl. Things has changed for better or worse , still i got to live it to the fullest. Time to grow up and get over myself , im no longer a four years old child who still need to be spoon-fed.
True , there's loads more things that im not aware of but doesn't mean i couldn't cope with it. Yes , im young and maybe slow ( Biol-ish ) but im not disable or incapable of doing the simplest of things.

2009-05-02T15:51:00.002+08:00

It has been awhile since i last updated (:

well, i dont have a computer at home neither do i have cash just to surf the net.

everything in life is in such chaotic mode now.

i cant explain in details on what has happened to my life or basically ME.

for those who knows, im fine. Not to worry about anything.

to: lilboyblue - aite (: i'll remember that. thanks for your kind concern.

2009-03-10T13:30:00.003+08:00

im jobless with no money! Oh gosh ~ WTH is gonna happen next?

miss my gunduHEAD. he got back his job working as a cook at a western stall. awaiting to taste his cooking. LOL (: love u pantat hitam.

2009-02-27T15:26:00.003+08:00

love.

Finding a job is a pain in the ass. Boyfriend is really getting on my nerves. Family has been around but being a pain too. Things are really getting out of hand. im at a lost to everything.

Lost my job earlier this month - regret awhole lot. now being so freaking pathetic having to go to CDC for help.

im lost. im in a huge mess. i don't how to help myself. i don't know what else to do. im freaking lost. OH GOD~ help me.

2009-02-19T13:10:00.002+08:00

Life's really unpredictable. While love's quite a disappointment.

Causing such misery & chaos.

The month of February is pretty much very Suck-ish. Apart from all those memorable events, such as my birthday - Valentine's Day etc.

My birthday - spent the day at dearest's house. got a huge new teddy as my present (: which Dearest named " Mr-Paws". My birthday cake is made of Peppermint.

Valentine's - Dearest got me a Bouquet of roses made out of - Red, Pink & Blue . And a box of chocolates.

A day at Dearest's house - we made Chicken Baked Rice ( Our way ). Well , it was loads of fun despite the quarrels in between the cooking (: Plus everyone loves it.

Another day at Dearest's house - we made Pizza with a base of a Mickey Mouse's head (: it was a delicious treat.

This month , i've been a bad girl. Messing around with my Family. Now i'm filled with guilt and lost. Just can't figure out what to do, so that odd will meet. I'm out of job - left clueless. My Number is almost terminated - i can still receive incoming calls and messages but i can't do any outgoing. I've finally cut my hair short - Gone are my long locks.

A bad incident had happened to Dearest ( last Sunday )- his knee ' popped ' as ' in dislocated '. All due to a clumsy me. Dearest had the cast place on the leg. Up till now, i'm still in guilt and regret.

2009-02-04T13:04:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow's the day - i would be legal in the eyes of law. Lol.

will be out with dearest around SG.

He's the MasterMind who planned the celebration of the 8TEEN Bdae (:

i want do something for him. i want him back in his culture - HipHop.

Yes, only to some & me - he raps. i miss seeing him all dressed-up , hyped-up with his swagger and stuffs - like the first day.

to those who knows him, should know what i mean.

2009-02-01T12:38:00.002+08:00

life is getting hard.

for those who have heard the news,

i guess that best believe i'll miss all of u.

Do contact me.

i want to do a final get-together before anything.

i miss u girlfriends.

2009-01-20T01:41:00.002+08:00

to:Dearest friends.

Present job: CHEERS@ZOO.

Been awhile. Life is getting pretty busy.

missing everyone who has made an impact in my life.

love ya all.

Pls do drop me a msg on friendster for your contact number.

2009-01-07T10:55:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was officially my last day of work in AllenBryans . Gosh~ im missing work already! The night before 06 January 2009 , i was at bf place making my farewell treats for the whole office . Cried every moment i thought of "Goodbye allenBryans" . Made a total of 21 lollypops boutique - Hand-made from 3am-9am causing me to be super late for work .

There was a farewell party for me and miera plus a welcome party for the new interns and Huimin . Thanks Sandar, Rinn and nishanti for the gifts and preparing the event . Didn't cried at the event tho' but the moment i read the card signed by everyone , my heart breaks and tears run down my cheeks . Later that night i was having a fever . might be that im still too reluctant to leave plus i didn't sleep the whole night .

2008-12-29T17:40:00.002+08:00

Oh gosh~
this is going to be the hardest goodbye in my life. In days to come , it'll be my final debut in Allen&Bryans.
Oh gosh~ A farewell party for us, 'Old' Interns % a Welcome party for the 'new' intern + a former colleague.
i'll miss these bunch of people (: i'll miss all the things that i have to do from 9am-6pm. Going to the Bank , B Uying Lunch , Tend Recep Area Etc.

Take care AP SP KT MZ SK NO CO NAD GC SL CT HS KN FT NISH RIN + my gfs , ADL & AMI .
And Hello 2009 !

2008-12-26T15:45:00.004+08:00

On the eve of xmas.
i was a Bf place. Again , we played Freedom Fighters (: the game lasted for 15mins which i dont recalled who won. afterwhich, i had a round with his lil'bro, din. halfway thru the game, din was winning sadly i gave up & BF played on my behalf (:

later that night, Bf's neighbor had a xmas dinner. His family was invited and ask me to tag along. The food was all nice (: With Turkey which i didnt eat bcoz it tasted different yet new to my taste buds. There were fruits & cocktail plus loads of good food. It was my 1st experience having to join in a xmas dinner (:

Spent the xmas at home with family. Bored but still able to spend at least some time with beloved niece & nephew.

Got my results today. Gees~ my GPA is 2.4 . haix. i cant advance to Higher Nitec. BUT *smiles* i successfully nail this traineeship (: everything was fine && happening. Leaving Allen&Bryans in 14days , will be buying cards & farewell treats for the colleagues i've been with & the new interns.

2008-12-22T16:23:00.003+08:00

the way we celebrate our monthsary.

on the Saturday 20122008
we went to the beach in the late afternoon. thought of spending the day together watched the sunset but ended up, i cried. Yet spending the night in your arms watching the stars were priceless. Talked about all sort of things that we wanted (: haix~

On the Sunday 21122008
OUR MONTHSARY.

Spend the day at Bf's house. we played PS2 - Freedom Fighters (: BF was cursing & swearing bcoz i kept winning (: Gave him a chance yet he kept nagging saying that it wont be a fair game.
Later that night. his family was heading to the Singapore Flyers. and invited me to come along. it was a fun thing though. going to the Flyers with ma, baba, mami, kak bintang, kak nani, abg awie, din, puteri, putera && dearest BF on our 5th month being attached (:

i love you bunches, hunny bunny!

2008-12-17T16:34:00.004+08:00

Oh gosh! as each day passes by, my last day in Allen&Bryans is coming to an end. As much as i want to leave this place , i feel reluctant due to the friends I've gained && all the bitter-sweet memories with people of Allen&bryans.
The day awaits, oh gosh! as always I'm afraid that I'll cry infront of those 20 people who have taught me so much in the working industrial!
It has been 1year && 28days since I've started working in Allen&bryans.

I've learned about receptionist duties , filings , writing cheques , Emailing to clients && loads more. what I'll miss is the laughter share among us interns , my desk thats pretty messy && everything is in order (:

Whoa. never thought that I'll be so attached to the company. haix. too bad , i've got to leave next month as to continue my studies. I'll miss the people awhole bunch!

2008-12-16T13:47:00.004+08:00

im officially dearest ' little miss naughty ' Lol (:
he gave me that nick since forever, thanks to my cheekiness nevertheless i cant be comparing to him- Flirty cheeky PEPP!

Thanks dearest for massaging my aching mens cramps. And to be able to sleep in his arms for 2hours soundly. am loving you still.

today in the office ,
i am all alone - the only intern left. Miera is on MC due to rashes && adeline on half-day due to follow her mom to ICA. Gosh , am rushing things all by myself.
So freaking Stressing! hopefully, am able to meet dearest today. needing his lips and touch loads. Lol , sound so perverted (:

2008-12-09T13:46:00.004+08:00

Days out with Bf (:
Saturday & Sunday.

On Saturday , we went out as per normal. Was dead bored when we both remember that we wanted to watch WildChild even since we saw the advertisement. The movie was "two words - Vogue + Attitude! " according to Bf , he gives it 3/5 stars. (:

On Sunday , yet again we went out and to the movie theater watched Twilight . It's was Horror-Splendid . Bf gave it 4/5 stars compared to WildChild was it was a notch better (: and the both of us are awaiting for the next sequal.

Well to me , both are worth watching for your 10dollars. Catch it & you'll know what we mean (: who else does it like us? four movie in 2weeks + a trip to the zoo - Crazy couple in love that's what we are (: 12 more days to 5months. looking forward to spending time with Bf. Je T'aime (:

2008-12-03T13:51:00.007+08:00

Entry was to be up yestarday.
Exams Over && School's Out! Jyeah.

On Monday itself, got a exam. Damn, didn't study but hopefully all well (:
Paper ended at 1030hours. Met up with the lil' rascals at Jurong Point, brought them to watch Movie - Winx Club: The secret of the Lost Kingdom. Was a nice movie, even my 23 years old sister enjoyed the movie. Plus all of us gave 4/5 popcorns like what the papers said so.

Later in the evening , met up with Bf. was wandering around Jurong Point seeking for god's knows what (: Finally i told Bf, lets catch a movie . Has been awhile since we step into one too. Bf wanted to watch "Madagascar 2 : lost in Africa" but bcoz i've watch it already. We settled for " Four Christmases" . The movie was great tho' && parts of the movie was so like us. Damn, all those arguments && quarrels we had . But still both of us laugh at it, the stupid part was that Bf lost his wallet! we went all around Jurong Point seeking for his wallet && lastly to GV . There was his black, bulky wallet (:

On Tuesday. Again didn't study at all. Paper ended at 1200hours. Rushed back home, had a date with Bf plus my niece (: a trip to the Singapore Zoo , a trip i'll always remember ! Had a change of outfit , cooked for three of us (: and rushed to the Zoo. Went to see ika's favorites "The Giraffes" ""The Polars" , "The Orang Utans" && many more (: Lastly went over to Kidzworld. Bf && ika played the playground together which was so cute && sweet of Bf. The smiles on both Ika && Bf are so precious (:

2008-11-24T13:51:00.002+08:00

i used to thought to myself that i could live without a man in my life .
After meeting you , i couldn't last a day without your hugs && kisses .
Boy , im so in love with you !

I'm sorry that im always tripping , cursing && swearing almost every single day . Boy , Please spare me for your lecture , your scolding && your nagging . I know you meant well , i know you care alot .

Forgive me for all I've cause to hurt you indirectly or intentionally . Thank you for being patient with me despite the fact that i'm always stubborn , crappy , irritating && annoying . For that i love you !

This heart loves you alot . This mind apologies for breaking your heart time && again . This soul yearns for your touch . Don't make me regret my choice . Je T'aime .

Happy 4th Monthsary , Saiful Bahri .

2008-11-20T13:11:00.001+08:00

Congrats to Bf's lil' brother for archiving Express && his goal to enter Singapore Sport School . I'm proud of you Khairuddin Bin Omar .

Such a happy news to be heard . Bf must be proud of his lil' brother as much as i am . The feeling is so strong to leave me speechless when his mom called during my lunch time . If i have enough cash , i'll get him something .

Yesterday , called my Form Teacher . Asking about the debarment thingy . and thanked god , i wasn't debar or else what i wanted to archive will be so out of reach . Even so , i already had plans on what to do in time to come .

Had a tiff with Bf in the wee morning . Shucks ! Well what the heck , this isn't like the first time we ever had an arguement . If i've known , i'll never had done such a thing to jeopardize your job . Call me a fool for not listening to you . Je t'aime . Boy , we'll see what will happen between us tomorrow ?!

2008-11-19T13:51:00.002+08:00

“When there is a great doubt, there is great awakening; small doubt, small awakening; no doubt, no awakening” - C. william

Doubts ?
Boy . i wish i could tell you . im afraid , you're stress up with work && everything else . i don't want to bother you too much . i know you can't take too stress , you'll break down .
i am sorry ! Boy. i promised i won't leave , i promised i'll be here .
i'll keep this painful secret all to myself .
Boy , Ja T'aime .

2008-11-10T13:49:00.003+08:00

i miss my dudes && bitches! I'm seriously gonna do a gathering for my class. missing so many of them. Damn, how i wish i have the money to do so. Met Shaiful , Amirul && Azfar coincidentally at the MRT on Wednesday. then met Lina at ECP on Saturday. DAMN! i miss those people!

I love you BF. I'll be there , i promise. Enjoyed your company alongside with your hugs && kisses PLUS our cheeky-ness. - 21th July 2008 and counting. -

2008-10-29T11:05:00.004+08:00

Its autumn. The leaves has turn brownish && soon they will gradually fall to the surface of the earth ; leaving the tree bare && bold.

It's almost end of October. End of the festive month. So much has happened in life which i can never forget. This year is alil' too hurtful for year. Cried too many times during the day && late at night. Memories with whomever , bitter or sweet ; I'll cherish && remember till I've turn senile (: . Moments that I've regret are just alil' too late ; Moments that are too fond to let go . Let it be between me && GOD .

Will it be too late to seek for forgiveness ?
Will it be to late to start afresh ?
Will it be too late for me to change ?
Isit too late to learn ?

I'm beginning do what's best for both me && bf. A'lil advice from my 2nd sister made me realize her point of wanting me && bf to work. I believe that my 1st sister too , wants the best for me as I'm her lil' baby sister. I'll work my way up the ladder but I'll be needing my sisters help as they're more experienced in such complications. Only this year did i realize how lucky i am to be loved && adored by my family. I'm sorry that i've caused so much within a year.

Dear GOD,
pls show me the way.
pls guide me along the way.

On the 19th Nov 2008 , marks 1year since i started my attachment at A&B . Learned a lot ; gained experience in almost everything added in being an Admin Clerk cum Receptionist . Made new friends / colleagues ; had many fond memories while it lasted. Ending this attachment next year on 7 January 2009. After which , if i could enter Higher Nitec then ITE simei is where im heading . If not , i'll take up Nursing or a Private Degree.

2008-10-23T18:40:00.003+08:00

Damn . Cried in the office .

Colleagues saw me shedding tears on my desk . I've realized my mistake , to sum it up . A whole load of mistakes . Im sorry .
Am at lost . i don't know what to do ? saying sorry is kinda late already . you hate me !
Can i be forgiven ? will you forgive me ?

Gosh . i miss the good times . i want turn back time yet keep bf by my side .
Bf , i wish i could tell you . i wish you would be here by my side . i so need your hugs && kisses . Bf , where are you when im needing you most ??

2008-10-22T13:50:00.003+08:00

Updated.

My Open House in Lieu of the Hari Raya Celebration was a total disappointment! invited a whole bunch of people over especially colleagues , ex-jwss [4T1] && outside peeps. Only 3 of my colleagues came over, 5 of my schoolmates of jwss dropped by. Damn. There were enough good foods around. Haix. was pretty upsetting. Mami was angry ; Told us sisters , "Not to do any Open House next year , way too tiring && lack of $$ "

Yesterday was our 3rd monthsary. was quite annoyed by BF. Haix. Dear BF, thats wasn't how i wanted us to celebrate our 3rd monthsary. but alas, the night before couldn't been better. i bought a cake to celebrate over at BF's place with his family. ended up sleeping at BF's Place. to be able to cuddle up with BF before dozing off. Ily. Woke up, able to see BF smiling away. just hope next month would be another eventful day to remember. Ily, imy.

2008-10-15T13:37:00.003+08:00

has been awhile . since last updated .

Raya has been Fcuked Up. with family , DAMN ! with Bf , hardly have the time . Me Busy w work && so is he . Outfit of the year was in Black , 2nd sister insists .

1st day , went to my Mak Long 's place. finally met up with cussy , ira && nadd . missing my guy cussy , tam . After 20yrs (if not mistaken) we went to ayah's side of the fam , was something special tho' wasn't able to see Pak Busu's Fam .

4rd day , Fcuked up. Mom was frust didnt follow us went house-hopping . went to tam's granny place . again he wasnt there , miss u dude . After which went over to Abg Yacob's place then went down to Yishun , Abg Yacob's siblings . Since then , there wasn't anymore house-hopping at all. stayed at home like ---- .

I thanked Bf for 101008 . will remember that . tho' promise to be at location at 12.30pm , i ended up meeting him at 2.30pm++ . Its was really something to remind me of other than our first date , 210708 . we made a promise to make every particular Friday memorable . Lets this be mine && Bf's lil' Secret . Sshh .

on the 12 Oct , mami has got a order of bryani for a total of 100 people . and yet again , me - Fatin - Kak Yan - Kak Sha2 && Ayah plus abg najib were to suffer . Loads of cutting , cooking && running about in the house . Crazy work all done after 3.45pm . i fell asleep immediately . only to be woke up by sis as my cussy are otw to our place .

&& Finally. This Sunday 191008 . im having a open house from 3pm onward. Food served would be Chicken Rice && more (: DO msg me if you want attend (:

Flags for Sale - Two

2008-09-30T11:25:00.012+08:00

Flags for Sale (Part Two)

G Unit
Price: $20
Size: -

Price : $20
Size : -

NY
Price: $30
Size : -

G Unit
Price : $20
Size : -

Contact me at
elli_gal007@hotmail.com OR
Tag me up at the tagboard.
THANKS

Flags for Sales

2008-09-30T09:04:00.013+08:00

Flags for sales. (Part One)

NY
Price: $120
Size: -

Obey
Price: $50
Size: -

Bape
Price : $35
Size: -

Zoo York
Price: $35
Size: -

Undefeated
Price:$95
Size : -

NY
Price : $69
Size : 7 3/8

Contact me at : elli_gal007@hotmail.com
OR
Simply leave me a tag

2008-09-18T15:42:00.002+08:00

I MISS U.
do i love you like how i mention i did?
would i love you like i always said i would?
will you be there?
My head's filled with doubts and my heart's filled with uncertainty.
I need you right now, to Burn this feelings lying in me.
i need your hugs and kisses to reassure me.

2008-09-18T15:42:00.001+08:00

Today makes a weird,fun and memorable memory.
On my way to work, i saw my best galfren, becky. had a alil' chat for all times' sake bcoz b4 year end on 2007. we were in alil' tiff up till today. having to talk to her bring back my days in 4T1. DAMN! i miss my class. without noticing, my best pal, shaiful was there too. waved at him, asking him to come over to us but we were in the train as tho we were "Sardines in a can." i remembered that some time last week, i saw another best pal of mine, azfar. we too did talk about getting a class gathering. I miss my galfrens, my best pals and my annoying chinese guyfrens.

at work, after lunch.
was on the fone with my galfren cum colleague,miera. she was asking abt wat happen ytd. told her frm A-Q wen only to be bother by a FAT Housefly landed on my right eyes. EEeeeeeeeee! my colleague infront me, Rinn was also laughing at my stupid reaction. moments later, that same FAT Housefly was bothering Rinn. Landed on her hair and opps , she goes "EEeeeeeeeeee!" Both of us look at each other and Laughed.

im busy. toddles (:

2008-09-15T08:53:00.002+08:00

DAMN! i miss dear so much.

entry is for missy lost's survey (:

1 ) Where would you go if someone sponsors you an air ticket ?
- France, Paris

2 ) What's your favourite thing to do ?
- Day-dreaming

3 ) Do you think money can buy happiness ?
- you cant kid me tho' w money

4 ) If you were given a chance to receive something, what would it be ?
- LOVE (",)

5 ) Things you can't live without :
- Family
- Dear
- Friends

6 ) What are you afraid to lose ?
- Those people

7 ) If you win $1 million dollars, what would you do ?
- Donate some. Spend some . Save some.

8 ) What do you dream of doing in the future ?
- Singer cum actress (Lols)

9 ) List down 3 good points about the person who gave you this survey:
- Cute
- Kind-hearted
- an Ex to my dear (Lols)

10 ) What makes you happy ?
- Being with dear, away from stress.

11 ) What type of person do you hate the most ?
- Typical malay kids

12 ) If you have a super power , what would it be ?
- ??

13 ) Would you go for happiness or money ?
- if Possible, i want both

14 ) Who do you think is the most important people in your life ?
- Again, Family - Dear - Friends

15 ) If you have a boyfriend, would you die for him ?
- Do have one. am not sure.

16 ) Who's the last person who hugged you ?
- Dear. Yesterday night.

17 ) What is the one thing you want to do badly right now ?
- Dear. miss him loads

18 ) Who are you close to ?
- Fatiin , mona , jul , miera , dear, my sisters and more

19 ) Are you courageous enough to tell the person that you like him ?
- Nah. never will be.

20 ) If you could do one thing all over again what would it be ?
- being the girl, people once knew me as

21 ) 3 things that scares you:
- God
- Cockroaches especially flying ones
- stress

22 ) 3 things that you like/love the most:
- Family
- Dear
-My life

23 ) 3 important things in my room:
- my teddies.
- His pillow
- my blanket

24 ) 7 people to do this questionnaire :
- nanas
- Fatiin
- puxiu
- gwen
- serene
- arinah
- jolene
guess they will do it?

2008-09-10T13:17:00.002+08:00

im sick and tired of those tagboard crap. Yes ive changed frm bad 2 worse!
but u pple dun have to hurt me tis way! DAMN.
im hurt. yes im hurt!
haix..

the convo w bby yestarday nite.
made me tink abt those shattered dreams/goals.

dear god.
give the strength.

dear all.
i've jst sold off my fone earlier tis wk.
i cnt b cntacted. pls msg thru friendster or tagged me up (:
thnks.

2008-09-09T13:23:00.002+08:00

To: the F***ers out thr who have been giving me crap on my tagboard.

GOD DAMN IT! can u pple jst mind yr bloody business?
Tis is my life for heaven' sake! i know i've done alot in the past 9mths of 2008!
damn. mind yr business.
my life has got nuthing to do w u.
i live my life for myself and not u bloody haters out thr.

im not prefect and neither are u. damn. dlm bulan puasa,
korg umat2 islam kutuk. aku tau kesilapan aku. korg siape nk tanye psl kehidupan aku?
bila korg dpt balasan korg sdiri dlm Allah SWT. aku tk phm la dgn bdk2 melayu.

bitching abt me only mean one BLOODY thing!
YOU lack sumthing i have. watever isit, u'll nvr bring me down.
bcoz ure afraid of telling me yr name. damn, wat in the world are u pple gonna say?
next tyme, jst tag using yr bloody name if u wanna tok dirty y hide?
if ure tokking facts y arent u using yr name?

STUPIDS.

2008-09-08T22:02:00.002+08:00

It's 080908. Nine months has passed so fast. In 2months time, it'll be Hari Raya. Thinking about how things has gone, do i regret? mayb i do. Coz i've lost and gain in possible many ways. i know that i've changed in a manner that i rebel to restrictions.

I miss my friends. i miss my secondary life but i know i'll nvr return to that time again. Remembering loads of things such as hw i would spend my valentine's with my Girlfriends ; the Teachers' day celebrations ; inter-class tournaments ; the preparation for Speech Day ; National day celebrations.

It's has been 11months since i started tis traineeship thingy. Working at A&B. Loved my colleagues whom have always been thr for me no matter wat. Thr alweas e ups n downs in tis job. Learned so many things in the working life tat only nw i've realised how tough it's jst to earn a couple of hundreds. While schooling in ITE Clem , met my primary sch fren. Has been awhile tho' , loads happened at school that i'll rmbr for life.

To: , ??
whoever you are out thr. u dun bring me dwn one way or the other. u are jst another pathetic soul. Yes my life is in a mess , Yes i've ruined my own life. Yes im bright yet full of stupidity. Say whatever u wanna say. but wat remain true, is the heart i own only myself knows about. thanks for the comments u said. i'll regard it as a compliments. thanks.